When you have your first baby you get a lot of advice: good advice, bad advice, advice on dealing with all of the advice. Most of it you just end up ignoring, but there are a few pieces to live by. One piece of advice I have leveraged to keep my sanity is:

Never try to reason with anyone who poops in their pants.

Maybe it is my youthful optimism or I wasn’t paying attention when I took logic in the philosophy department, but I have been working under the assumption that the following is also true:

You can reason with anyone who keeps their underpants clean.

This, unfortunately, is nowhere near true.

This morning Katie was watching her morning Dora while Jen went to get in the shower. After Dora, I informed her it was time for breakfast.

“No, I play 5 minutes!”

“Fine, you can play for five minutes then you need to eat breakfast.”

…Five Minutes Later…

“Katie, breakfast time.”

“No, No, NO”

cue overly dramatic nonstop sobbing, crying, wailing as if someone died AND she got a “big ouch.” Add in repeated “Breakfast!” “NO!” exchanges and an attempt to reason that she has to eat before school. “NO!” I am going insane when finally, an out,

“I want mommy”

“Mommy is going to say the same thing, but you can go ask her.”

At this point Mommy uses far better reasoning power to convince Katie, still whimpering, to eat breakfast. She gets in her seat, stops crying and eats an entire cup of yogurt plus 3 gummy bear vitamins. After breakfast I take her to the potty. Again attempting to reason with her I ask:

“Katie, why did you cry so much if you were so hungry for breakfast?”

“Because I was a little bit mad.”

“Why were you a little bit mad?”

“Because I was a little bit crying.”

I have learned enough about women over the years to know it was time to get out, but it still left me wondering…

When do we become reasonable?

At this point it is 8:30AM and I have my hand in the Peanut M&M jar for the second time already today. Rationalization of my Peanut M&M consumption runs from “The sooner they are gone the better” to “I am ___, I deserve them.” The reasonable side of me understands that ending this habit would:

  • Help me meet my athletic goals
  • Be healthier
  • Stop kidding myself that I am putting on my size 38 “grungy work” jeans everyday because there is a lot of grungy work to be done
  • End world hunger

    Reasonable is relative and probably overrated. Katie, just make sure you throw a fit every time you see Peanut M&Ms
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