The dinner table in the kitchen of the urchin undersea palace, hence forth know as Chez Poulbot (urchins’ place,) can often be a pleasant Cleaver moment in our lives — definitely an updated Cleaver family where Wally and the Beav will eat anything including stinky cheese and Indian food. Last night was not one of the moments.

In case you don’t know, Katie is not your ordinary stubborn 2 year old, she comes from a long line of people who make oxen look like push overs. No, I don’t think you quite understand what I am talking about here. When I say stubborn here I am talking about a Granddad who had a heart attack while mowing the lawn and not only finished mowing the lawn, but didn’t bother going to the doctor until days later. Given that level of innate obstinacy underlying the terrible twos, when it is time to go to battle we are talking about the battle for Middle Earth.

The menu at Chez Poulbot was chicken with potatoes, peas and coconut-curry sauce plus a side of rice. Katie loves rice or any carbohydrate (not unlike her mother or father,) but tonight the Orc came out.

I don’t like rice.
Katie you love rice.
I don’t like this.
Then just eat the chicken.
I don’t like this.
You need to take two bites before you can decide you don’t like it.
I want something else with chicken.
This is what we are having for dinner, now take two bites.
I want to go to sleep.
(Code for I want to suck my fingers)
It is dinner time, eat your dinner.

Fortunately, we are well prepared for this battle. Jen with a refined strong will and I with the antithesis, extreme indifference. So as we continue to eat our dinner to the sounds of the Orc battle cry Jen decides it is time for a new tactic.

Daddy since you ate all of your dinner you can have one of the fresh hot chocolate chip cookies I made.
OOOHH, there are fresh hot chocolate chip cookies? I would love one I am so glad I ate all my dinner.

The little Orc cries, I want a cookie!
Jen gambles, All you need to do is eat two bites of your dinner and then you can have a cookie.
No I want a cookie!
Two bites

and so the the little Orc gives in, still unwilling to end the battle cry she takes a bite, and then another bite. This is delicious. ¡Delicioso! The battle now a distant memory, Katie eats everything in her bowl and a second helping of chicken. After dinner all that remained was…

All that remained
…a half eaten cookie.
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