As if the cold-sinus infection-shingles-cold-sinus infection weren’t enough of a way to start 2006 it appears that EVoD has decided to throw party. EVoD, also known as Exploding Vomit of Death, is one of those lovely gifts children bring into your home. Picture a virus that looks and acts like the inner fast from the VW commercials. It enters your system and decides to have a house party. Everything out! it growls in that commanding evil voice. And so it begins, an ethinc cleansing of your stomach so quick, complete and decisive that it puts every fanatic in history to shame. Like shouting fire in a theater, everything comes flying out the front and back doors, lunch, dinner, that one little sip of water, the spleen, your liver, you name it. Then he puts you to sleep while he gets that party started. Once in a while he will wake you to kick someone else out. The thing about this crowd is that once they are kicked out of one party they like to start another in the closest location possible. If you are lucky there is enough spacing between the start of the parties that there is always someone to clean up, often times you’re not so lucky and it takes more than you can muster to deal.
The thing is, didn’t these guys get the memo? Don’t they know that we have a 3 month old and they are not allowed in our house? I guess not – so now we have to do our best to quarantine Tristan and hope he doesn’t get it. I can’t being to imagine what EVoD would do to a 3 month old and I hope I never learn.
In 36 hours or so the house party will be over and we will all be left with a bad hangover. Tentative to eat, loathe to leave our beds, still afraid they will come back for more, but like rock stars on the road they will be gone until their tour makes its stop at our house again next year.