When you have a miniscule mouth attached to your boob for over 3 hours a day you tend to watch a lot of TV. I hear there are women out there who can nurse a baby while grocery shopping and texting on their mobile but not me. I mean I can nurse in public and I can be discreet – which if you’ve never tried to get a screaming baby attached to your mammary glands without exposing them to the world, it’s not that easy. So I end up spending a lot of time each day sitting on the sofa trying not to fall asleep – and television is the answer.

Now the problem with TV alone is that Tristan eats at all times of the day and the viewing selections available at say 11:00 AM are not fantastic. I’m not a Geraldo type of gal. Of course the answer to this particular predicament is TiVo. We actually have had a TiVo for 7 or 8 years and let me not understate this – we LOVE Tivo. And this week I found out how much.

We’ve had trouble the last few weeks because American Idol and Lost have overlapped and we generally watch both. So Stefan decided we should switch from DirecTV to cable and then we could use the cable company’s digital video recorder (DVR) or as we like to say, TiVo-like device. We would be able to record two programs at once, we would get high definition (HD) TV, blah, blah — we have now entered the geeky male electronica zone. For the rest of us let’s just say the TV-watching experience would now be super-cool.

So the almost midget cable man arrived at our house with 2 minutes to spare in the service window reeking of cigarette smoke and speaking with the weirdest nasally southern accent you’ve ever heard. He hooked up everything, checked out the movie theater in progress and hit the road, warning us that it might take a little while for the DVR to download the complete program guide. Well it did take a little while, in fact it took longer for the DVR to get the program guide then it took for me to decide I hated it. Poor Stefan, for the rest of the day he only heard (in ever-increasing volume) I want my TiVo back! I even got Katie to tell him Daddy, I love TiVo to emphasize the point.

I will not go into the nauseating details of how awful that DVR was, but let me just remind you that our TiVo is over 7 years old. This cable thing could only have been created before television was invented – it was that bad. So, wonderful husband that he is, Stefan took it back to the cable company the next day to get a regular cable box. When the woman took it back she asked what the problem was. Stefan just made some comment about his insane wife and how she demands high-end electronics – HA!

With the reintroduction of TiVo peace has returned in our tiny little world. Like Stefan likes to say, If Mommy isn’t happy, no one is happy. Ain’t it the truth…

Footnote: Just for good measure Stefan ended up buying another TiVo on-the-cheap from somebody on craigslist. It turns out he wanted TiVo back too 🙂


One thought on “The Boob Tube

  1. Tivo, just so you know, I never wanted to leave you in the first place, but that 32″ Aquos LCD on the fireplace has been begging for HD content since we got it and with Verizon FIOS already trenched to the house I wasn’t going to sign a 2 year deal with directv to get an HDTivo that isn’t even going to get all the Directv HD channels on their new system. All I can say is Verizon you better offer Cable Card and Tivo you better ship the Series 3 because we all know Apple will ship a Mac Mini with cable card support soon and I might just defect.

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