We heard this song — from the They Might Be Giants album released today — on XM the other day and Katie said, Daddy, this is what you should do. If only.
Today was a good day — both urchins took naps (even at the same time), I unloaded the dishwasher, the urchins got mail from Australia, and Tristan pooped! Time for a celebration. No, seriously, not only did I get the dishwasher unloaded, reloaded, and running but I got some laundry done too. The pooping hadn’t happened in almost five days — thank you iron-fortified cereal — so we were very pleased when that happened too. But the thing that made it a very good day was the arrival of the package from Australia.
You really have to watch what you say around an almost-three year old. And it seems that our almost-three year old has exceptional super-human hearing so really you have to watch what you say within a two mile radius. Unless we move to Waco and set up a commune we’re unlikely to control all the conversations within earshot so sometimes we just have to deal with explaining to Katie that not all words and phrases are appropriate for an almost-three year old.
There are two kinds of music in our house – kids music and music we don’t listen to anymore. Considering that we used to imbibe in the local music scene on a frequent basis this is pretty traumatic. We still relish in the ability to tell stories like the night they were begging people to pay a $5 cover to see up-and-coming star Howie Day. Unless you have kids, you are probably thinking, like I used too, why not let your kids listen to a little adult music? It’s not until you realize that kids will sing any song they like at any time that you change your mind. As such we have a simple litmus test for music we let Katie hear: Is there any part of this song you would not want her singing at the top of her lungs in Whole Foods? Once you start thinking about it like this, even the seemingly innocuous songs get ruled out.
Simon: What’s your name?
Simon: So what’s your story Dora?
Dora: I am a TV star and I like to help people.
Simon: Oh right, from that kids show. Splendid. What are you going to sing for us today?
Dora: Get On Your Feet by Gloria Estefan.
Simon: Very well.
Dora: (singing painfully) Get On Your Feet
Randy: Dawg! (pause) I’m glad to see the Latinos representing in the da house, but that just didn’t do it for me. Sorry Dawg.
Paula: Sweetie, your so cute and your such a good little helper, but I am just not sure singing is for you.
Simon: Appalling, absolutely appalling. Do you really think just because you have a successful television career that means you can sing? The thing is, you could do a duet with William Shatner and it would probably go platinum. I don’t get this country sometimes.
Dora: So it’s a no?
Paula: It’s a no, but keep being such a good little helper.
(Dora exits sobbing)
Paula: (Whispering and giggling) Have you ever seen that girl try to mambo? (laughter)